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He gave me a diet program— I was 8 years old— and my mother would tell me to follow it, while she prepared mashed potatoes and gravy and ate ice cream at night. These signs seek food as a release from perfectionist demands that the individual feels that he or she cannot possibly fulfill— setting up a boundary of fat for protection and distancing— and as a release from ever feeling one’s buried emotions.These signs are more inclined to turn to some substance when stressful feelings are not addressed, to bury them or to drown them.It is hard and we are not always ready to make those massive life style changes that support a smaller body size.To lose weight and function at a normal size requires the greatest courage, the courage to face life unprotected, unprotected by the layers of fat.This pattern of denial distorts our conception of how much food we eat and the reasons for our obesity.
The weight acquired serves to keep a distance from others who may invade, hurt or betray. It constantly sabotages our energies and independence.Later on, you will attract people into your life who sabotage your efforts, keeping you busy with their problems and talking you out of doing something that would take you away from their needs, talking you out of doing, doing for yourself and not them. It is through ambivalence that we talk ourselves out of doing what we need to do for ourselves— “Oh well, I can diet tomorrow” and tomorrow never comes; I can buy these cookies and I will eat just one but we can never just eat one. This first manifests through denying how inappropriate the parent’s behavior is— a parent who was wonderful, who sacrificed, who worked so hard for the family— how can I possibly be angry at them.It is the procrastination that puts off dieting and exercising until it is too late in the day and then we can just do it tomorrow… Neptune provides an opportunity to tune out and deny anything unpleasant in the life.In a past life, you could have put on your chain mael suit of armor.Today, we must resort to the physiological layers of fat for protection.